A client once told me about his son’s frustration with his senior prom date. Apparently, the boy spent a lot of money on renting a nice tux, a limo, flowers and dinner. The lucky young lady didn’t even have the courtesy to give the boy a blowjob for all this effort, much less sex (presumably in the back of the limo or a cheap hotel). Both the boy and his father were flabbergasted by the lack of sexual remuneration from the girl – especially after all that money had been spent on her!
You can probably guess what I was thinking, even though I didn’t say it. That’s right — if the boy wanted to pay for sex, why the hell did he ask a high school classmate on a romantic date? Why didn’t he just hire someone? There are women who do that sort of thing, you know. (Although I don’t know how many would want to attend prom with an 18-year-old.)
What would have happened to the girl if she had given in and had sex with her prom date? A boy with this kind of mentality probably wouldn’t have been discreet about it. He would think of her as a slut, as easy. If he’d connected his spending of money with her sexual availability, he’d call her a whore. Since he was pissed about spending money and not getting any, I’m sure this would be an easy connection for him to have made. And, I’m betting, if she’d enjoyed their sex and actively participated, he probably would call her a whore anyway. All teenage boys know that a woman’s level of whoreishness is linked in direct proportion to her sexual pleasure.
Many men never lose this perspective.