After “after hours”

I’ve been wanting to change up this blog for years. Getting more personal online is uncomfortable. Having more privacy yet retaining the audience I’ve built is the goal. Getting paid is ideal.

I’ve looked at Patreon and discarded it so many times in the last few years. There’s Substack, which almost persuaded me. But, in the end, it’s still a digital blog, same form and format, just with a little money thrown in. There’s nothing substantially different between it and my free Tweeting, or my free-to-read posts here. I am stuck with my working-class mindset: value must be given to the paying customer. It’s an honest mindset, even if somewhat limiting.

Then a side project I was developing took shape and I realized it would suit Amanda perfectly, instead. What am I if not a writer? Do I not claim I’m an artist, too? I should write, and create with writing.

In the spirit of contrariness, which has inspired most life choices, I have gone headlong the opposite direction from current, popular wisdom.

When people throw everyone online for “transparency,” that is the time to go private. When all communication is moved online, it’s time to move off.

Instead of a TinyLetter, an Actual Letter.

This comes from my stated desire to make money from my blogging, the rediscovered need to be creative without staring at a screen all day, and the pleasure of intimacy within certain boundaries, familiar to many sex workers. I earn a steady income from my blogging, which my creditors also enjoy — with more-inspired, regular writing to a smaller, appreciative audience.

Yes, someone whose normal handwriting really does look like shorthand has taken up the dip pen, found some nibs that work, and is developing something legible (and I aspire to real beauty, with enough practice). It’s creative. It’s what I’ve been dying for for years.

This is art, and approaching it as art is the way my handwriting becomes something more. As does my writing. I compose very differently when the ink literally flows from my pen than when typing on a keyboard. Key clicks are cheaper than dirt. Ink and 100% cotton paper? Very expensive and exquisitely thoughtful. There is no waste, I make few mistakes. Strange how not having a Delete key does that. (Pay no mind to my blotchy practice sheets, you know, those times when the ink really did flow from my pen.)

There won’t be 20K-word letters, my hands can’t take it. Expect a medium-length letter, 500-1K words, maybe all the way up to 2K if I really have the spare time.

The essays I’ve planned are all things I’ve wanted to discuss for a long time, but hesitate to make them public and Googleable. Pen to paper is not that.

I plan on producing some handwritten and updated editions of existing blog posts, perhaps quotes from my books or Tweets, things that aren’t personalized, serialized or brand-new. These pieces will be more affordable than the letters, and not in such limited quantities. My hope is some of these pieces are framed, perhaps put in a scrapbook, or something of that nature. Sex workers do love their physical, personal libraries.

The blog here will be much more surface, and less personal than it has been. If you want to read what I have to say, the real thought-pieces, the substantial and personal things I sometimes share, you must purchase a letter. If you want to be my pen-pal, for real, now you can.

Not going to do the letters indefinitely. A year, perhaps two. And then I’ll probably have said everything I want to say as Amanda. The letters are as close to a memoir as I’ll ever get. I really don’t have the ego required for a full-blown autobiography.

Private pen-pals will last as long as they last. Mostly I’ll let those relationships fizzle out on their own, likely after I’ve thoroughly offended all my pals.

Letters will never be repeated, or reposted on the blog or anywhere else. They’re real-world communication. Made once, consumed only in one manner by the person who receives them, not accurately reproducible by any means. My imperfect hand means nothing will be the same twice. Low effort wabi sabi.

Letters are folded properly, sealed with wax and a custom stamp, created for my personal theme of 2021. The letter will be inside the mailing envelope. So basically, you get a plain, addressed envelope, open it to reveal another plain, protective envelope, and inside there is your letter.

I have gold and purple wax, and various colors of satin ribbon. You can even choose your basic paper types: opaque or transparent. You get to choose wax color, ribbon color, and paper-type because I’m feeling generous and want you to enjoy the way your letter is presented.

Quantities are limited; both the current topical issue and number of pen-pals I’ll allow. I expect to produce a new issue every 4-6 weeks and I’m already behind in rolling this out, the February issue will go on sale starting the 9th.

Actual purchasing information and email notification of issues for sale is on my other website1. You pay via Square, my payment processor. The options are all explained on my sales page. I suggest reading it thoroughly. All questions should be answered, and there are helpful photos, as well.

All in all, I think this is pretty simple to understand. I write letters, you buy them.

Click here to go to Sales Page

I’m curious how quickly some idiot manages to screw this all up.

To recap: continuing to read the thought-pieces many enjoy means buying the topical letter. Being my pen-pal means purchasing private correspondence.

I love writing with a dip pen; and making $money$. I’m a brain-damaged hooker with artsy-fartsy flair. An entertainer for 20 years, I’m offering a new form of entertainment for you. Nothing bigger than that.

By next week I expect to see hundreds of escorts offering calligraphy and handwritten letters. I know of only one who currently offers handwritten correspondence. As usual, the unoriginal herd should pay me royalties because money is flattery. Imitation is neither flattering nor money!

1This blog theme, while lovely for blogging, is limited in being able to create unique pages, and I do not wish to waste my time right now redesigning this entire thing, that’s coming later this spring. Iā€™m working on other deadlines at the moment.

a quick update

I added a little update at the bottom of my burnout post. After even more time away from life as Amanda, and other positive life changes, I’ve made a decision based on many personal revelations and much thought.

The comments are turned off on this blog from now and forever. I will Tweet every now and then, but am never going to engage with anyone on Twitter again. If you have my email address, you can use it, but I probably won’t respond. I’m not interested in mainstream media, not unless an exceptional opportunity arises. By “exceptional”, of course I mean “paid” and by “paid” I mean “well-paid” which means it probably won’t happen at all.

I’m in the process of gathering materials (and thoughts) for a few more escort-related books. I can see a minimum of two and a maximum of six coming out over the next year or two, depending on several factors. Ebooks, produced as professionally as possible, perhaps with POD options. I’m not going to bother doing print runs again. It’s more hassle than I feel like doing, certainly more upfront costs for me, though I know sex workers love to build actual libraries (I’m one them). That means I’ll be forced to buy myself POD copies too. šŸ™

Speaking of print books, I’m selling out the last of my copies of Book 2. Haters are encouraged to buy out my remaining stock at full retail price to hold a bonfire or whatever. I’m both a sex worker and a writer. My type of people like getting paid.

Book updates/news/notes will posted on Twitter, of course. I’ll finally use it as book promotion like I should have been doing all along.

I’ll do my best to publish helpful information, because sex workers certainly deserve to have options, and the experiences of others in order to make decisions. I’m even going to write a book for clients and it’s probably not going to be anything like what you’d expect from me, for good or ill.

I’m aware my acknowledged audience is tiny, I’m also aware that I’ve helped shaped this industry, whether acknowledged or not (usually not, and usually while being completely ripped off, sometimes by people who claim to be of higher ethical standards than I). I’m also aware all of this is spectacularly bad timing, but my life has been nothing if not badly-timed, so this is completely on-brand.

Whatever comes, there will always be men wishing to indulge in paid sex and/or companionship, and there will always be women wishing to offer it. And the concepts of providing are eternal, even if current society or the technology changes.

And then I’m done with producing books (as Amanda).

There are other things I’m working on and places I see myself going that don’t involve any of you, or Amanda. I like that.

I’m sure there will be one final concluding essay to all this before I go, for those who have followed me this long. My story arc will be concluded, as it were, as gracefully as I might be able. It may not be nice but it will be honest.

There is so much clarity that comes with distance and time.

i’m finally publishing something

As some of you may, or likely not, have noticed; things are changing around here and my book’s website. Thank you, SESTA/FOSTA, for that.

One thing that is very different with the book’s site redesign is that the book’s companion blog, The Notebook, is gone. I published there from 2006-2015. I have no idea how many people actually read it, or not. In fact, I had the impression that it was outdated and full of shit.

Not true! I’ve gathered the posts, tossed the ones that weren’t authored by me and that aren’t relevant to readers now, updated links, updated many of the postings with new information, added new material that hasn’t been published before. I’m creating an ebook out of the posts and expect it to be selling before the end of December.

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uptown thief

Finally, a book that features sex workers as main characters, not as main victims or main outcasts! The reviewers talk about the amazing revelation that sex workers are real people, thanks to this story. The author thanks $pread Magazine, the St. James Infirmary, Bay Area SWOP, and The Harm Reduction Coalition and Training Institute in her long list of acknowledgements. Uptown Thief by Aya de Leon is the first in a series featuring the sex workers introduced in this story.

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reactions v

getting paid on time

One thing sex workers have going for us is that we get paid on time. Smart ones get paid upfront (this is standard for most, but not all, of the world). While I’ve often compared mentally freelance writing work with sex work, they’re only now catching up to the pay-upon-completion model. Not the same as pay-upfront, more like pay-as-you-go but for a legal occupation, it’s a huge step forward.

make an authentic logo

Too funny! Hipster logos!

speaking of authentic

Yes, that guy I mentioned in the first section did indeed make another one of his damned “authentic” posts. I cursed at the monitor for subjecting me to it, then unsubscribed. I’ve added a couple new non-sex-work blog subscriptions and am much happier. Thank you, non-authentic bloggers, for writing more of what I like reading.

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