adult industry truth survey

If you haven’t heard, two activists have come together with the help of DePaul University to create the first sex worker-run survey of sex work. This is an academically-reviewed study and they plan to publish the results in academic journals as well as mainstream media. Serpent Libertine and Crysta Heart are friends of mine as both activists and sex workers. I’m extremely pleased of their efforts against the anti-sex trafficking agenda. It’s not an easy feat to get a university behind a project run by sex workers. (Maybe one day they’ll tell us how they did it?)

The website — AdultIndustryTruth.com — is full of information about the survey, which runs through July 2014. The survey is open to anyone who works with sex in the US. The website and survey is engineered for anonymity and safety.

This particular survey concerns the issue of consent and coercion. This is truly the gap that separates sex work from sex trafficking (and something I’ve discussed in real life with others). Consent makes the difference to sex workers and their experiences; it should make the difference in policy but unfortunately, it currently does not. The AIT survey aims to help illustrate that difference.

As a sex worker who has chafed at the attention people like Melissa Farley get with their “research”, I’m thrilled to see sound research accomplished by sex workers. Nothing about us without us gaining a small foothold in the US.

Follow the button below to take the survey, feel free to repost this information anywhere you can. The larger the results, the more accurate the information will be.

AIT survey

You can follow AIT on Twitter or Facebook.

the world according to stupid clients

After years of receiving my own pile of emails and phone calls, years of listening to other girls, and my own friends who work Backpage, here is how the world would be if it functioned like these men apparently believe it does.

I assume these men are clients of some poor soul. They aren’t real clients and aren’t civilians. They live in their own special realm.

— Makes a dental appointment: “Here is a picture of my great teeth. They’re so amazing you need to pay me to clean them. What? You’re going to charge me anyway? You money-grubbing whore.”

— Speaks with a general contractor: “You’re going to bill me for this? I thought you liked working on my house so much you’d do it for free. You’re such a money-grubbing whore.”

— Calls a bank after 5pm: “Oh, so you just closed once you made all your money for the day. I see how you are, you money-grubbing whore.”

— Walks into a Mercedes dealership: “I want the newest S model. In black. Turbo. Fully-loaded. Full warranty. Free oil changes for life. And I only have $100. What? You won’t do this amazing deal? You money-grubbing whore.”

— Calls the home number of the manager of a local steakhouse at 4am: “Wake up. I want a steak with all the trimmings right now. The steakhouse is closed? You advertised steak and I want steak. Wake up and cook my steak. I’ll be there in 5 minutes and I only have $20. You can’t tell me no! I’m a customer! You sleep-grubbing whore.”

— Sends long love letter to therapist: “I love you unconditionally forever. You listen to me and make me feel good. You’re the most wonderful person in the world. What? You don’t want to date me? Why not? Fine. I hate you. All you care about is material things and your stupid boundaries. You money-grubbing whore.”

— Argues with bill collector: “All you care about is getting paid. I am living a spiritual life and money is not important to me, you money-grubbing whore.”

— Calls local mechanic at 4:54pm. At 4:55pm. At 4:57pm. At 5:01pm. At 5:03pm. At 5:05pm. At 5:10pm. At 5:11pm. At 5:12pm. Finally leaves message: “I hope you’re better at fixing cars than you are at answering your phone. I wanted my car fixed but my car is too good for you. You disease-ridden, money-grubbing whore.”

— Sees doctor. Goes to pay: “Why am I being charged? Not only was the doc so nice to me and took care of me, that’s what the doctor likes doing. Why should I have to pay since they like being a doctor so much? Money-grubbing whore.”

— Writes the CEO of Gulfstream: “I really like your jets but can’t afford one. However, I’m 49yrs old, 5’10”, 190lbs, drug/disease-free and like classic movies and read a lot. Could we meet for lunch so I can go ride on one of your jets anyway? NO? How dare you say that to me! I offer so much as a passenger. You money-grubbing whore.”

— Calls his local Chinese delivery restaurant: “I’m 2500 miles away but could I get delivery in the next half hour? No? Why not? I really want Chinese food and think your food is great. I’m willing to pay, and have a coupon. I don’t understand.”

— Argues with wife: “I didn’t marry you because I loved you! I married you so that I could pay your bills so you would have sex with me! And now you won’t have sex with me?! Marriage is paying for sex! You’re not living up to your end of the agreement! You money-grubbing whore.” Goes off, contacts escort off Backpage: “Here’s a picture of my penis. It’s really big and I’m really hot. Free sex — just for you! You want paid? You money-grubbing whore.”

dec 17 — back in the usa

Not only am I late with this post, but I’m honestly not doing much of anything about it this year. Last year I was in Hong Kong, marching with Zi Teng (still need to post about that). This year, in Dallas, going to spend the evening with someone I’ve just started seeing, someone who I feel isn’t sex-worker-friendly. So there is only so far things can progress. A good friend’s relationship just went down the toilet, due in part to issues surrounding her being a sex worker.

Though none of that compares to the lives lost this year. SWOP-USA has put together a great Dec 17 site, so please peruse at your leisure.

Expendable can happen in so many ways. The job can overshadow so much: who the sex worker is, their basic civil rights, their claim to humanity.

why craigslist matters

ne requiescat in pace

At this point, it’s faded into dust. Old news. Everyone’s moved on. Except me, obviously.

a personal history with craigslist

I’ve used Craigslist to find living quarters, household odds and ends, sold/swapped items, attempted to navigate the Personals (and still read them just for the laugh, not for the penis pix) and yes — advertised my Erotic/Adult Services on there, both in the US and several other countries.

Any provider will tell you advertising on CL was hit-or-miss. Not only was it stronger in some cities than others, it was certainly stronger in some countries than others. And sometimes the geographical differences were distinct for non-financial reasons: like the number of thick-skulled, hyper-romantics in Asia who confused the Erotic Services section with the Personals vs the crudity of London punters responding to the ads (they were not confused, BTW). One thing never changed: a literate ad with a decent picture stood out in every city, every country. (And then I got to watch how literate the other ads would suddenly become, usually mangling the English worse than their own, original writing.)

It was very much an open market and in many ways, the Internet version of standing on the street. Or perhaps sitting at the bar. At best.

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words for he-man hooker-haters

There isn’t a lot of hating on my blog; I don’t get the traffic to draw the haters or I scare them off or something. Or else the bulk of their comments get auto-moderated (I have set my spam filter with some key words for a reason). But then someone posts something completely innocent online and here come the haters.

Specifically, I’m referring to Tracy Quan’s light and engaging piece on talking to a call girl. You can sure disagree with what she says. Or you can think it’s a fluff-piece. Or you think it’s a brilliant little butterfly of a post. Whatever you fancy. Then you scroll down and find the hater comments all out of proportion to her piece.

Apparently, they’re not aware of the irony that they are talking to a call girl by responding to an article she wrote. I see the same things over and over again at a number of places online. So I decided to offer some suggestions and thoughts for the haters to consider.

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