I came up with this idea months ago, which is why it’s appearing here in my usual timely manner.
While I was traveling, I Tweeted quite a bit, sometimes more than others. A lot of those Tweets were more notes to myself about that specific moment in time. So for fun, I’m going to share some of these Tweets here and the little stories behind them. Not sure what I’m going to call this series yet. This is more just expanded notes for myself and for a few people who have asked a lot of questions about “the little differences” I found when I traveled.
wanker
Created 2010-12-30 02:58:56 -0500
I don’t save client numbers on my phone. But if yours is saved, it will contain “Wanker” in your name and there’s a reason I don’t respond.
Though this was shortly before I returned to the US, I started using the term “wanker” with complete familiarity soon after arriving in London. I also quickly learned how to save numbers into my world-phone. Though I do not save client numbers in the US because I don’t post my number, my work in rest of the world operates differently. Good clients sometimes were saved (upon request) with first name and initial. Wankers got designated by their special way of being annoying. So in every country, I’d have a list like:
Wanker Married (an Aussie bloke who texted me for sexy pix while sitting on the couch with his wife)
Wanker Anal (another Aussie bloke who failed to understand some basic concepts about anatomy, consent and women)
Wanker Timewaster 1, etc. (I usually had to number these wankers)
Wanker Beer (English guy who spent a lot of texts trying to haggle down my rate because he didn’t want sex, then proposed that we meet in a pub to drink beer, got offended when I declined and ranted about my materialism and greed)
Wanker Rich (well-off Singaporean who seemed to just want a party companion and would make appointments just to cancel at the last minute)
Wanker John (no defining feature to his wankery, so was stuck just using the name he gave)
…and so on and so forth. (I have a whole number of saved wanker SMS conversations, debating whether or not to post it.)
Anyway, creating phone wanker lists is apparently something every escort does in every country. Which is why we like phones with room for a gigantic number of saved contacts.
Funny you should bring up the term “wanker”, which I have loved ever since living in England some years ago, which I have always seen occupying a needed place between “jerk” and “complete prick” in the continuum of offensive people. Though wanker can also be used to describe friends, depending upon how it is said….
Which brings me to my actual point. While in England, and in the early days of internet chat, we had a group of Anglophiles, ex-pats, and natives that would talk and get together twice a year. At one of our get-togethers we discussed particular words and phrases that don’t sound the same unless said by a native speaker.
It was pretty much agreed that only natives of the UK can say “wanker” in a way that truly communicates its full depth of meanings. Americans just can’t quite get it right. Something about the accent makes it perfect. On the other hand, we agreed, if an Englishperson tries to say “Bite Me!” it also lacks the same intonations of an American saying it.
Joseph — I think Aussies say “wanker” better than the Brits, but then again, I would. However, the term still suits very well when saving contacts in a phone, regardless of nationality. 🙂
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Wanker
How did it sound in Australian?
By the way Longer tweet! Should that not be an Oxymoron?
Be well
Wankers 🙂
Aussie Ex Roomie — Ha! It just sounds so much meaner in Australian. Ya’ll really say it with feeling.
Oh, there’s more Tweets coming!
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How does a chap know if he is being a “Wanker time waster”? I have a regular girl, and I email her a lot, and sometimes I worry about that and say so, and she tells me it is OK and she enjoys hearing from me. Sudden thought that I may secretly be “Wanker TimeWaster No. 8” or something. Not a pleasant thought.
Steven — Do you ever book with her? If not, you’re a time-waster. If you do, but not often, you’re a bit of a time-waster (trust me, every escort has more free pen-pals for life than any human could ever possibly want). If you wish to keep yourself from possibly being a wanker, either book with her more often, or occasionally send her giftcards for stores she likes. Or…don’t write her unless specifically to book an appointment and spend the time with her catching up in person.
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Thank you. Mmm, well, I can only see her once ever few months as she’s in another country. I’ve sent her gift cards of course.
It got confused because she started to confide in me boyfriend problems and I became a bit of shoulder to cry on. In fact, at the last meeting some months ago, she asked me to look over a letter she was writing to him (to break up) to see how well it read. I ended up holding her as she was crying.
I’m beginning to think this isn’t typical.
Steven — No, not completely typical! It’s obviously gotten personal.
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Indeed.
I love it when you make me LOL even before my morning caffeine has kicked in. You’re better than a cup of strong organic green tea…love it!
Cecilia — Thanks! 🙂 Major compliment from you. There’s more too, I’ve had YEARS to compile this sort of stuff.
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I can imagine how frustrating time wasters are, and that there is more than one type. Probably being thought of as one myself by someone, it isnt because i mean to be one. I just want a connection with someone. Prob not just me…
Maybe i-we-they need to check out that rent-a-friend site.
Ever though of putting a pay per click ad for them on your site? You could make $ by pushing time wasters there instead! lol
Hey “me”.
Don’t let it get to you. I sent this thread to the girl I mentioned in my comments, and she thought it risable, and was quite upset why I would take the opinion of a random blogger than hers. Whenever I’ve said I’m going to cease, she’s asked me to continue to correspondence.
Let’s remember that Amanda and those she writes for make their living out of male loneliness – ignore girl talk. As my darling girl said “what the hell would she know? Who is this person anyway?”
Steve
Me — I’ve thought of trying to charge for wannabe pen-pals but I already know that won’t go over well.
Steve — Like I said, clearly it’s personal for ya’ll. Most of the time (and most escorts will agree), time-wasters announce themselves loud and clear. It’s a VERY common thing for all escorts to deal with.
I know a LOT about escort work, incidentally. And yes, I make my MONEY from talking to men. Emailing men who never spend money, though, is obviously NOT how I make my money. Which is the entire point of the concept of “time-wasters.”
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PS: http://twitter.com/#!/ImpressA_Hooker
Particularly:
Make a booking once, then think you are entitled to a life time of relationship and sexual advice.
How not to impress a hooker: Tip 53. — Chat to her/him for more than 5 years on and off without ever making a booking.
Happy Birthday. I sent you on-line gift yesterday. Check your email to see if you got it.
Agent — Thank you! Check.
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Thanks for this article. I’m so over time wasters. I keep it simple now. I just told a guy who I’ve seen once to just call me an hour before he wants so see me. He writes these long emails for about four days and then cancels. He’s done this twice but just wants to keep the conversation flowing backand forth,like he’s enjoying writing love letters,than twice now he’s cancelled at the last minute. BOUNDRY TIME! I refuse to text back and forth.
Yes, we have way to many pen pals.
I also had some what of a regular call me yesterday, and start to tell me about his surgery, and problems with his ex. I stopped him before he could go on any further and asked him if he was calling to book something.LOL It may have sounded bitchy but I’m not a freaking therapist and I’m not getting paid to hear this stuff.
BTW I usually just put “a hole” ,”time waster” etc….I have so many of these on my address book phone most people would wonder what the hell these meant.LOL
My funniest one was when a guy who had seem me twice wanted me to see him that Sunday morning however he wanted to pay me the following Wednesday when he got paid. He lived pretty far so I was suppose to drive out there for nothing.LMAO
He was “disappointed” when I said no,and said he’ll never see me again. Good riddance. I just can’t even imagine asking someone this and then getting mad when they say no.LOL They want to call working girls screwed up people,at least some of us have enough class, and tact not to put people on the spot and respect boundries,sometimes I feel like I’m dealing with angry little boys!
Tamara — Ha! Just laughing. Indeed, of all the complaints escorts make, not ONE has ever complained that men don’t write enough (unless it’s complaining about the dearth of serious appointment requests).
You could always offer phone therapy sessions. Prepaid, of course.
I often wonder what runs through men’s heads when they think they can pay whenever? Or those who want a “free sample session” before they decide to pay us? What business operates like that? One of the reasons I wish we could use account collections services for those who need the hint.
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The only thing I can think of for the entitledment thing ,is they’ve gotten some grand illusion in their mind,the relationship is deep now and you owe them a favor and just trust you’ll get the cash.LOL I think were all wise enough to know if you don’t have the money now when that check does come it’s highly unlikely you’ll get it and it will be going to “other bills” also your phone calls will o unanswered.
My dad always said if you want to get rid of someone in your life who is bugging you,borrow them money and keep calling them for it! They’ll advoid you like there’s no tomorrow or get pissy when you ask for YOUR money. To bad this chica is wise to the ways of the world! LOL
Tamara — Ha! Love what your dad says — totally right!
As for entitlement, yes. Others maybe suffer severe delusions and have a break with reality. Others are just plain confused (try to get with sex workers for free; try to pay civilians to have sex). The gamut of confused reactions to a straightforward action (hiring a sex worker; going on a date) makes me think many men have a problem with simplicity and reality.
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Okay so this email is very nice and polite but stil has undertones of this being something more than what it is or will be.The following is an email I recieved from a guy.Too funny!
Hello Tamara,
“How are you? I’m a 43 year old guy on a business trip in Torrance,Ca.
I saw your ad online, and I tried to call you but in vain.”
?? He tried to calling me in vain? Just call me,no need to make a bigger deal out of this than you need to.
“I would like to ask you a serious question, are you interested in contacting me?”
?? Uuuuuum YES,thats why I post an ad on line.
“I do not want to offend you.”
OH FOR GOD SAKES!!! Enough with the drama!This isn’t a dialoge back and forth with your girlfrind!
“I’m a man of integrity and respect. I work hard daily to provide for the people I love.”
Too much unnecessary information,while these are all great qualities in life,all I need to do is check you out and make sure we agree on a price.
“A year ago my sister had an accident and the family has been stressed””My wife has been inactive on a sexual level and she works all the time.”
DON’T tell me about your wife,don’t even bring her up for god sakes. I don’t care!and
AGAIN.I’m becoming a penpal,too much info to a stranger and a esccort trying to JUST set up a busines appointment.
“so if you’re not upset with me,please contact me.”
LMAO upset with you? I’m not your girl friend or wife! I’m a fantasy. We don’t have baggage together! I don’t know you yet.
“looking forward to that
Best regards”
My reply back.
Thank you for the email, you gave me to much personal information I can’t do anything with. Please just contact me with the phone number listed in the ad when you have time,and we’ll set up a time.
Tamara — Yes, I love messages like this. Too much info-share, assuming I have mind-reading rays beaming at him 24/7, mentioning his married sex life because he plans on having sex with me (for money).
The only box he didn’t tick was the one where he’s in a whole other state and doesn’t actually visit within 1000 miles of you. Oh, and he expects you to run over to his location and offer a 1hr incall (hopefully at a reduced rate) in the next couple hours while he has some free time.
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omg i can relate so much to all of the things you said!
my phone contacts list has so many funny names, it would in fact be hilarious if someone found it and went through it. I have one in there that’s saved as “atextingmothafucka” along with “jerk” “cheapskate” “wifediedtwoweeksago” “wantsarelationship” and many others. there was a point when i hired someone to handle my phone for me because i was finding that all of the time wasters and men that purely wanted to just talk and text were taking a great toll on me mentally and leaving me drained.
Rachel — Ha! Yup, you have a wanker-list.
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