Writings about my thoughts or experiences in and about the adult industry. Although I stripped and worked as an independent escort, my interest in the adult industry extends to all parts of it. Just FYI, my usage of the term “adult industry” means all facets of adult entertainment, not just limited to strippers, prostitutes and porn stars.
Can’t believe I’ve never ever posted this little gem that I wrote after stripping for six months. It was for a college photo project (it ended up not working because too much text) but I’ve kept these words ever since.
After twenty years as a sex worker, I can congratulate my younger self on my quick wisdom. These rules are solid and have never been disproven.
Though I haven’t discussed it much, I’ve been watching YouTube makeup artists/beautubers/influencers/beauty gurus for years. I’ve learned a lot that I still can’t translate to my face, and spent way too much money on makeup and skincare products, most of which I’ve given away due to them not working. However, my staple products that WORK are so worth it and I would have likely not tried them without seeing videos of other people using these products and discussing them.
Vanessa D’Alessio wrote a great piece over at TitsandSass around the issue of showing your face in conjunction with your online escort work. My response got eaten by the Intertubes, I think. Instead of reposting, I decided to expand on it a little here.
This article has been at the back of my mind since I read it last week. My arc has been slightly different than hers. When I started stripping, I was fairly out and allowed myself to be photographed, topless, for one of my club’s websites (back when the Internet was indeed tubes that connected computers using gerbils and string). They never removed the picture despite repeated requests, even after I left stripping and began escorting. (It was later removed only because they redid their site.)
The news of last week sent me reeling. I should have been better prepared but other than assuming the bill would pass, I did nothing. So…I’ve done what many have done as far as my online work persona goes; and thought about things.
As someone who has touted the value of personal privacy for years, you should take steps on that front. Abine’s Delete Me service is not that expensive and very well worth it. If you can’t afford the fee, they show you how to do it on your own (it’s time-consuming). I bought their service a couple years ago and am extremely happy with it.
For years, I’ve recommended How to Stay Invisible and it’s still worthwhile when it comes to offline privacy. The Lifeboat Strategy is very expensive and informative, and best for those with a lot of money to protect. The website does have free information available. I’ve found the best online privacy resource yet to be Hiding From the Internet, written by a former FBI agent. And then there’s the very excellent A Smart Girl’s Guide to Privacy, written by Violet Blue, who is very sex worker friendly.
I should have Storified this but didn’t because I only have so much time and energy.
A question was posed on Twitter about not seeing guys of a certain race. I gave a flip, but honest answer, about why I no longer see Indian clients (even though Indians aren’t actually a race, they’re an ethnicity). And I don’t. I made that decision a year ago, after months of soul-searching and debate.
All of that debate was with two friends who would hear about my complaints after each and every appointment with Indian guys and they would pose the obvious solution: “Stop seeing Indian clients.” I would argue back with all the arguments I got on Twitter, plus my worry about it affecting my finances.