hiatus

Not completely, but won’t be blogging as much. I’m settling down to write Book 3, which will include a lot of research with professionals and interviews with escorts. Interview notices will be posted at the book’s blog. I’m going to try to relax and enjoy life a bit too, will certainly enjoy hanging out with friends and family.

There will be little trips here and there, but they’ll be trips just for traveling. Imagine! I may get the chance to actually enjoy the places where I’m visiting and get to be a tourist!!!! Not feeling the need for extended travel/work at the moment. Plotting to get a permanent residence in Dallas, though obviously right now I’m still a renter.

It’s the Year of the Rabbit and I’m a Rabbit feeling this will indeed be my year.

how to be a boring sex worker

Be out.

When I put my first ad on Eros in early 2002, I did it in a “test city” on the advice of my mentor. Her advice was sound: if I discovered escort work wasn’t for me, I would not adversely affect my life where I actually lived. That test city was enough to convince me I’d found my perfect career. In fact, my first client was enough to convince me. I returned to Dallas and tangled with Eros on changing my ad to Dallas. During the week or so of lag-time, I completed my one huge task.

I showed my face and had no reason not to show my face (my mentor showed her face as well). Dallas is only a 2hr drive from where I grew up, where my mother still lived. I’d already done enough online research and enough talking with my mentor to know that my mother could either hear it from me or hear it from someone else. I decided to show her some respect. She would hear it from me.

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my advancing decrepitude

As some of you noticed (thank you!), I just turned 35. If you haven’t noticed, well, now you know. I didn’t think much of it, actually. Was just surprised the date rolled around so fast, October 2009 was really only like 2 months ago, right??? (My mom, always good for a thought, cheerfully reminded me that I’m halfway to 70. I’ll have to put that in my ad text.)

What I didn’t expect was the little “ouch” of putting that extra year into my ads. Unlike many and unlike what I used to do, I don’t lie about my age right now. I certainly could — I could easily get away with 8-10yrs younger. But why? I don’t fake orgasms, I am how old I am. I really don’t have a lot of choice in the matter (I’m either this old or I’m dead).

I experienced ageism back when I was a young and tender 33. At the advanced age of 35 I think people are just throwing their hands into the air and giving up (I found an escort today who won’t exchange links with anyone over 33). In Asia where everyone looks very young and the most common escorts are young, it can be difficult to be honest about age (very difficult to be okay being an XXL in local clothing sizes, which translates into a US size 6-8, depending.)

There have been potential clients who have passed me up because I’ve gone around the sun too many times. Then there are younger guys who seem to expect me to literally be a cougar: pin them to the bed, open my claws and have my way with them (this is my style about as often as the planets align). I present myself honestly on my website and ads, yet guys are still often surprised by me one way or another. I look just like my photos, except that I’m not as tanned right now (the French Riviera was good for that, if nothing else).

I’m not a MILF — I have no children. I’m not a cougar — I feel I’m just barely out of girlhood, really. I’m just 35. That’s all. It’s how old I happen to be.

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floating blossom

Mizu shobai. The water trade. It is a constant stream, ebbing and flowing.

I’ve spent nights in ridiculously expensive suites in some of the best hotels in the world and bug-infested little rooms (hotels can offer more kinds of bugs than just cockroaches, BTW). One morning I checked out of my hotel with my bank account severely overdrawn and no place to go, that night I had a nice room paid for 3 nights and was $1000 to the good. I’ve been ripped off. I’ve been shorted. I’ve been tipped with lots of extra money and beautiful gifts. I’ve worked in situations and at rates most of my friends would never deign to do. I’ve worked in situations and at rates many envy.

The water trade. Continually ebbing and flowing.

I’ve had sex with soldiers, farmers, fellow adventurers and executives. I’ve had no sex with clients — very often. Men have cried, laughed, loved with me. I’ve had days where every single client screwed me into the mattress (God bless Australia). I have “done it for the money” because I disliked the client so much (this is very rare). I’ve fallen in love, knowing I will never see them again (this happens more often than the disliking bit). I’ve been bored, annoyed, drained, turned into a purring puddle of goo, energized, refreshed, happy. “Happy” is my most common reaction.

The water trade. It ebbs and flows.

I had a private incall for a while. I’ve done outcall-only. I often work out of my living space when on the road (hotel rooms). I have no actual home right now. I have 1 big bag, 1 purse, 1 netbook (and am now memory-stick free!). I’ve been wearing the basically the same clothes/shoes for well over a year (yes, I wash). My non-work wardrobe is centered around t-shirts/shorts/flip flops. I try not to spend more than $20 on a non-work clothing item because I just care that much.

Ebbs and flows.

I could’ve stayed home, re-built my escort business in 2008 and made a lot of money. I know the business, I know how to do it. I watch the girls who have read my books, I see their success. There but for the desire to re-follow that path goes I. I’ve made and spent my money. I have found and lost love. I’ve gone to a number of places, stayed in hotel rooms and seen nothing. I’ve seen beauty of great significance to me, I carry it with me until my memory fades. I don’t take a lot of photos, considering. I’ve stopped planning my life.

Ebb and flow.

We are all connected. The more I learn, the simpler and more infinite everything becomes.

Mizu shobai.

We are composed of over 60% water. The earth’s surface is 75% covered in water. The search for life in space begins with the search for water. We can be born in water. We quickly die without water. It is basic to our lives.

Sex is just as essential. It is the very concept of life. As one of my friends puts it, every single one of us is a “walking orgasm.”

Prostitution is as common as rain, a puddle, a river, a waterfall, an ocean. It comes in every imaginable form, some obvious and some not; some forms beautiful and some not. It is everywhere, limited only by the constraints of that situation.

A constant stream. It ebbs and flows, carrying the blossoms floating on the surface.