Welp, that was inevitable.
When I was touring a few months ago, and Carl Ferrer, the CEO of Backpage, was arrested, I had about $800 of credit in my account. I started spending and not replenishing because I knew BP wouldn’t last much longer. As of today, I have less than $200 in my account. I have no way of getting that money back, that I know of, but at least it’s still there and it’s not very much, really.
Almost every sex worker blog has some sort of post dedicated to those who come to the blogger asking for help on getting started as an escort. I got those emails as a non-blogging newbie escort years ago and rarely responded. Doing such things is a felony in the US and a huge deterrent to sisterhood with an anonymous stranger. So I wrote a couple books about escort work and put up a website showcasing those books. The question comes in several times a week now on that website, from both men and women. Sigh. (I still sometimes get that question posted to my escort email, but maybe once every couple of months.)
Back when I started, there really wasn’t information on being an Internet escort. I know, because I spent a lot of time on Google (did it exist at the end of 2001?). I wasn’t as Internet-savvy as I am now but I still understood the concept of operating a search engine. I knew how to scour Amazon (which I’d already been doing as a stripper). I spent a ton of time reading the public boards on ASPD.net, being anxious and offended in turns. I instinctively knew that taking the dubious advice of male hobbyists would not lead to satisfaction in my work (they certainly couldn’t answer my period questions!). Fortunately, I had a real-life friend and mentor. She was patient with me and very honest. I fully appreciate how much help she freely gave. Though she and I are different people and approach our work in different ways — her advice on keeping safe and being successful was spot-on.
After years of receiving my own pile of emails and phone calls, years of listening to other girls, and my own friends who work Backpage, here is how the world would be if it functioned like these men apparently believe it does.
I assume these men are clients of some poor soul. They aren’t real clients and aren’t civilians. They live in their own special realm.
— Makes a dental appointment: “Here is a picture of my great teeth. They’re so amazing you need to pay me to clean them. What? You’re going to charge me anyway? You money-grubbing whore.”
— Speaks with a general contractor: “You’re going to bill me for this? I thought you liked working on my house so much you’d do it for free. You’re such a money-grubbing whore.”
— Calls a bank after 5pm: “Oh, so you just closed once you made all your money for the day. I see how you are, you money-grubbing whore.”
— Walks into a Mercedes dealership: “I want the newest S model. In black. Turbo. Fully-loaded. Full warranty. Free oil changes for life. And I only have $100. What? You won’t do this amazing deal? You money-grubbing whore.”
— Calls the home number of the manager of a local steakhouse at 4am: “Wake up. I want a steak with all the trimmings right now. The steakhouse is closed? You advertised steak and I want steak. Wake up and cook my steak. I’ll be there in 5 minutes and I only have $20. You can’t tell me no! I’m a customer! You sleep-grubbing whore.”
— Sends long love letter to therapist: “I love you unconditionally forever. You listen to me and make me feel good. You’re the most wonderful person in the world. What? You don’t want to date me? Why not? Fine. I hate you. All you care about is material things and your stupid boundaries. You money-grubbing whore.”
— Argues with bill collector: “All you care about is getting paid. I am living a spiritual life and money is not important to me, you money-grubbing whore.”
— Calls local mechanic at 4:54pm. At 4:55pm. At 4:57pm. At 5:01pm. At 5:03pm. At 5:05pm. At 5:10pm. At 5:11pm. At 5:12pm. Finally leaves message: “I hope you’re better at fixing cars than you are at answering your phone. I wanted my car fixed but my car is too good for you. You disease-ridden, money-grubbing whore.”
— Sees doctor. Goes to pay: “Why am I being charged? Not only was the doc so nice to me and took care of me, that’s what the doctor likes doing. Why should I have to pay since they like being a doctor so much? Money-grubbing whore.”
— Writes the CEO of Gulfstream: “I really like your jets but can’t afford one. However, I’m 49yrs old, 5’10”, 190lbs, drug/disease-free and like classic movies and read a lot. Could we meet for lunch so I can go ride on one of your jets anyway? NO? How dare you say that to me! I offer so much as a passenger. You money-grubbing whore.”
— Calls his local Chinese delivery restaurant: “I’m 2500 miles away but could I get delivery in the next half hour? No? Why not? I really want Chinese food and think your food is great. I’m willing to pay, and have a coupon. I don’t understand.”
— Argues with wife: “I didn’t marry you because I loved you! I married you so that I could pay your bills so you would have sex with me! And now you won’t have sex with me?! Marriage is paying for sex! You’re not living up to your end of the agreement! You money-grubbing whore.” Goes off, contacts escort off Backpage: “Here’s a picture of my penis. It’s really big and I’m really hot. Free sex — just for you! You want paid? You money-grubbing whore.”
This is a very quick post. I’m sure I’ll think of better things to say this weekend.
After Craigslist fell, everyone’s attention turned to Backpage. The attention cranked up but Backpage wasn’t saying much, however it instituted new advertising policies that just got in the way of adult sex workers advertising there.
The point of intersection came with the Superbowl in Dallas and the hordes of underage girls being trafficked into the city. Like, so many of them every single hotel in the metroplex would’ve been booked solid with working girls under the age of 18. The Dallas Observer, part of Village Voice Media, made much of the non-event that was the Superbowl (not including the ice storm — which was an event).
Meanwhile, over on the West Coast, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, along with assorted other female celebrities, have been braying about the problem of child sex trafficking in the US. They’ve been raising millions, attempting to influence legislation and are making a lot of noise about this huge “problem” that even they admit has no solid numbers.
The Village Voice ran a story making fun of Ashton’s “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls” campaign and questioning the numbers of underage trafficking victims. Ashton took offense and started a Twitter war. He has a scary number of followers who are not sex workers yet consider themselves experts on underage trafficking because they follow his Tweets. Um, yeah.
Which brings us to…