rules for strippers

Can’t believe I’ve never ever posted this little gem that I wrote after stripping for six months. It was for a college photo project (it ended up not working because too much text) but I’ve kept these words ever since.

After twenty years as a sex worker, I can congratulate my younger self on my quick wisdom. These rules are solid and have never been disproven.

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animal trades

A very nice and seemingly sincere gentleman offered me nine pygmy goats as a trade. I consider it a career-milestone to be offered actual livestock.

It got me thinking…what sort of animal would I be willing to trade for? A really nice saddle horse? A few quality milking goats? Pygmy marmosets? Of course there is the expense of keeping the animals, along with the expense of a place to keep them because I live in a large city. (The marmosets are delicate and don’t make good pets.) A “trade” that keeps digging a hole into my bank account isn’t worth it.

What would I trade for? Right now, I trade my time for cash. It’s always worked out for me. With cash, I can get anything I want if I have enough of it, and do stuff with it, like pay rent or set aside in savings. Dallas is not a barter-town so I doubt I’d get very far trying to trade pygmy goats at Neiman Marcus for a new handbag.

singaporean “generosity”

This is one of my “I’m disgusted” posts.

Singapore has great wealth, though it’s not counted as the wealthiest Asian nation due to its small population. It has been at the top of the charts in various world indices, all pointing to a very positive and swift leap forward for this city-state of approx. 5 million people. All in all, it’s a pleasant and safe place to visit or live, even if you are an ang moh. It even outranks Japan on several factors, though Japan is still a leading Asian economy (China is huge and wealthy, however it still has large portions of its population in desperate poverty; nor does it provide for its citizens like Singapore and Japan do).

Singapore also admires Japan. Singaporeans love sushi and Japanese food (okay, Singaporeans love all food, so that might not count for much), they like to buy Japanese products and emulate Japanese trends. Japan is considered the pinnacle of Asian culture. Chinese culture provides tradition, Japanese culture is cool and trendy. (I’m going to ignore the obsession with Korean boy bands, just like I ignore boy bands in the States too.)

In Japan’s moment of need, Singapore turns its back. The government pledged $500,000SGD to the Red Cross. The makers of the Facebook game Farmville managed to raise twice that amount among its players worldwide. Contrast that with the amount Singaporeans spend at the two casinos: one local manged to lose $26 million SGD in three days, another local lost $100 million SGD in a short time. Granted, those two losses were well before the Japanese earthquake, but still — there is money in Singapore that could easily be given to help Japan. I’m betting the casinos are still flooded with locals who can’t wait to toss away hundreds of thousands of dollars every night.

One Singaporean woman donated a $1 million SGD check to the Japanese embassy in Singapore. Surely there are other Singaporeans who can do the same?

My Aussie flatmate tells me Resorts World (where the first local casino opened), is putting on a benefit show to raise money for the Red Cross. The ang mohs are volunteering their time and energy for the show. The locals (aka Singaporeans) want to be paid for doing their part (I believe the show will go on without them).

I’m sure that Singaporeans will claim that they’re too over-stressed about losing seats on the MRT to foreigners or worried about the rising cost of housing (due to foreign competition) to worry about the Japanese. This is their excuse for being rude too. It doesn’t fly.

What particularly irks me is that Singapore would be completely washed away in the event of a tsunami. Granted, it’s protected because of it’s location and this isn’t likely to happen. Apparently Singaporeans feel quite safe and don’t feel any empathy for the east coast of Japan because they must think they’re not going to suffer the same fate.

One of the world lists that Singapore ranked lowest on was generosity. Singapore is one of the stingiest Asian nations when it comes to donating to causes. It’s beaten out by countries like Sri Lanka and Thailand. Too bad Japan isn’t one big casino, I think that would be the only way Singaporean dollars would go to help the Japanese.