I have been in the business of ‘sex’ for a long time. Some people might think that it would inure me to sexual feelings, and sometimes I believe that fallacy too. Although I rarely get completely aroused just by seeing a naked man like I did in college, it doesn’t mean that I’m blasé. Instead, the emotional resonance of sex has spread. No longer is sex concentrated in dicks or my pussy. Sex can be many things to me and most of them have nothing to do with naked bodies.
Irreversible
Sitting and watching the modern, enormous screens in movie theaters gives me out-of-control feeling. The screen is so huge and overwhelming because I don’t know quite what is going to happen. Will the movie scare me, shock me, plod along, create absurd spectacles, jump out of the screen at me? Will I be moved or bored? It’s a momentary abandonment to someone else’s vision. I feel none of this when watching a movie at home on the TV. The screen is relatively small and there is a button that will stop the movie if I want. It is mine and I’m not captive to someone else’s ideas.
That opinion has changed since I watched Irreversible about a month ago.
On My Retirement Part I
It’s nearly the one-year anniversary of my retirement. I’m not planning a celebration of any sort; it is simply a small marker in my life, a time for reflection.
Many people, men and women, have asked why I retired. Most escorts retire because of a relationship. Some retire because they’ve saved enough money, achieved whatever goal they set, or landed their dream job. I was one of the ones who retired because of a relationship. Specifically, I was offered the opportunity to chase two ideas of mine, as well as forging a deeper bond with someone special.
Not Smoking
I quit smoking two years ago. Sure, I’ve cheated but my body is happier without cigarettes and most of the time I forget that I ever took up the habit. I can assure you my lungs don’t miss it in the least. Sometimes I do crave a smoke and often I give in. The strange thing is that it is rarely satisfying and always reminds me of how nasty cigarettes taste. I always finish the cigarette though. I am nothing if not compulsive.
I don’t drink coffee
I have to say I’m excited about my blog. I’ve seriously thought about starting one for the past month. I have thought about it all last night. I have several ideas for topics and then I’ll just see where it takes me.