Posted on by Amanda Brooks

escort rumor

Okay, this is clearly not a news blog. Back in January, rumors swirled that Lindsay Lohan’s mom was selling expensive dates with her daughter. Her father said it wasn’t true, then said it wasn’t wasn’t true. Who really knows?

I just like the idea of a celebrity paying the bills the old-fashioned way. If she really is a paid companion, then it would be so wonderful for her to speak up about it. Come out and proud! On the other hand, she has substance abuse problems and an arrest record. Okay, maybe she’s not the best choice for celebrity sex work spokesperson.

If her mom is pimping her out, call Donna Hughes or Melissa Farley. Quick!

Posted on by Amanda Brooks

hints for clients

A few of the finer points of being a [good] client. These aren’t deal-breakers or anything blacklist-worthy, not by any stretch. It’s about those special little things, those bits where a man misses the mark. Not really something he can prepare for; though if he actually took care of himself head to toe like his companion does it would cease to be an issue. Since the specific men who inspired these examples probably aren’t going to see me again (I don’t hide annoyance well), I hope that their next companions have an easier time of it.

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Posted on by Amanda Brooks

animal trades

A very nice and seemingly sincere gentleman offered me nine pygmy goats as a trade. I consider it a career-milestone to be offered actual livestock.

It got me thinking…what sort of animal would I be willing to trade for? A really nice saddle horse? A few quality milking goats? Pygmy marmosets? Of course there is the expense of keeping the animals, along with the expense of a place to keep them because I live in a large city. (The marmosets are delicate and don’t make good pets.) A “trade” that keeps digging a hole into my bank account isn’t worth it.

What would I trade for? Right now, I trade my time for cash. It’s always worked out for me. With cash, I can get anything I want if I have enough of it, and do stuff with it, like pay rent or set aside in savings. Dallas is not a barter-town so I doubt I’d get very far trying to trade pygmy goats at Neiman Marcus for a new handbag.

Posted on by Amanda Brooks

time-wasting activities

In a roundabout way, I found out that this post over at Tits and Sass had mortally offended a client. No need to be offended, one can’t spend large amounts of close, personal time with another person without indulging in some (or all) of these activities. These things are what normal people normally do in relationships — only they aren’t compressed into a day or weekend or whatever.

It did get me thinking of more time-wasting activities for escorts who need a little mental/emotional alone-time during extended bookings (men: think of it as care and feeding for her soul, not as time away from you). So here are my suggestions.

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Posted on by Amanda Brooks

longer tweeting

I came up with this idea months ago, which is why it’s appearing here in my usual timely manner.

While I was traveling, I Tweeted quite a bit, sometimes more than others. A lot of those Tweets were more notes to myself about that specific moment in time. So for fun, I’m going to share some of these Tweets here and the little stories behind them. Not sure what I’m going to call this series yet. This is more just expanded notes for myself and for a few people who have asked a lot of questions about “the little differences” I found when I traveled.

wanker

Created 2010-12-30 02:58:56 -0500
I don’t save client numbers on my phone. But if yours is saved, it will contain “Wanker” in your name and there’s a reason I don’t respond.

Though this was shortly before I returned to the US, I started using the term “wanker” with complete familiarity soon after arriving in London. I also quickly learned how to save numbers into my world-phone. Though I do not save client numbers in the US because I don’t post my number, my work in rest of the world operates differently. Good clients sometimes were saved (upon request) with first name and initial. Wankers got designated by their special way of being annoying. So in every country, I’d have a list like:
Wanker Married (an Aussie bloke who texted me for sexy pix while sitting on the couch with his wife)
Wanker Anal (another Aussie bloke who failed to understand some basic concepts about anatomy, consent and women)
Wanker Timewaster 1, etc. (I usually had to number these wankers)
Wanker Beer (English guy who spent a lot of texts trying to haggle down my rate because he didn’t want sex, then proposed that we meet in a pub to drink beer, got offended when I declined and ranted about my materialism and greed)
Wanker Rich (well-off Singaporean who seemed to just want a party companion and would make appointments just to cancel at the last minute)
Wanker John (no defining feature to his wankery, so was stuck just using the name he gave)

…and so on and so forth. (I have a whole number of saved wanker SMS conversations, debating whether or not to post it.)

Anyway, creating phone wanker lists is apparently something every escort does in every country. Which is why we like phones with room for a gigantic number of saved contacts.