Posted on by Miss Brook$

some things are universal

Drafted when I lived in Singapore, so sometime in 2009/10.

Children act like children, though the children in Singapore are generally better-behaved than children elsewhere (and Asian babies are so cute!).

Saw an ad for a local children’s daycare. All these cute little Singaporean kids and the one token white girl.

Gyms still pressure-sell and everyone gets suckered in, then regrets it—as evidenced by some discussion forums I’ve looked at.

Cabbies add unexplained charges to the meter, pretend to not understand you or just act lost.

Women, no matter naturally tiny they are, still want to lose weight. As evidenced by all the weight-loss products and advertisements here. Or maybe all this stuff really works and that’s why they’re all so skinny. Or maybe not.

Women with straight hair want curls, women with curly hair wish for straight. Take this one to the bank.

Asians flock to stores to buy branded goods, the more expensive the better. Westerners flock to markets looking for knock-offs, haggling for the best bargain.

Nobody likes illegal immigrants working in their country. And yes, the browner-skinned people are always the “immigrants.”

Technology is imperfect around the world.

Hotel maids move my stuff around too much for my liking no matter where I am.

Regardless of where I am in the world, when I travel alone, I invariably end up in the next room to a fighting couple. She always starts crying. Then he either leaves or starts hitting her. Eventually, it stops. In case you’re thinking this leads to hot make up sex, it doesn’t. Sex never follows these hotel-room abuses. Fortunately. I’m not sure I’d want to hear the sex that follows abuse.

non-universal opinions

I’m still not used to the metric system. It’s utterly meaningless. What is 100g of something? An ounce? A pint? A teaspoon? It’s just a number divisible by 10. Okay, so I’m very Imperial. I’ve been told Australia successfully switched to metric in recent history and I don’t believe anyone died. I still like Imperial. It means something. It was created to measure real-life scenarios. It’s not sterile.

The only metric measurement I know is the weight of my checked bag. I can guess it to within a kilo, though I still can’t guess its weight in pounds. My goal was 10-12kg, but it regularly clocked in at 12-15kg. No getting around it no matter how I tried to skim the weight down. Even now in the US, I’ll check my bag’s weight and ask them to change the scale to kilos for me. But I can’t weigh anything else in kilos, if it’s not my bag, then I have no idea how much it is in kilos (and really, not a very clear idea in pounds either).

I still love US greenbacks. They feel like money. They smell like money. They sound like money. I think we have the sexiest currency in the world, but maybe it’s just what I’m used to.

Australia and Singapore and other countries have plastic money. It’s slick but not papery. No smell. Singapore’s currency is graduated by size, each denomination is radically different in color, it has a clear plastic window on the bills (which is cool) and a Braille system so the blind can easily handle it. It’s as progressive as currency can get. But it’s not sexy.

Posted on by Miss Brook$

happiness in the time of 1984

This is a very old draft, obviously. I had a lot more to say that’s lost to time and TBIs. Sadly, it’s all still relevant.

Often, the worse things are, the more vehemently people are encouraged to be sunny.

The most recent findings, for example, are that wealth makes you happy but children do not. [By recent, this was published in 2009; and by findings, of course I mean what is obvious to all.]

The most inspiring people are those least obsessed with their own happiness, especially those who stride confidently across the globe to create, evoke change, or wrest from life what they will.

Eleanor Roosevelt believed happiness “is not a goal, it’s a byproduct.” I think she might be right.

Posted on by Miss Brook$

rules for strippers

Can’t believe I’ve never ever posted this little gem that I wrote after stripping for six months. It was for a college photo project (it ended up not working because too much text) but I’ve kept these words ever since.

After twenty years as a sex worker, I can congratulate my younger self on my quick wisdom. These rules are solid and have never been disproven.

Read more

Posted on by Miss Brook$

animal trades

A very nice and seemingly sincere gentleman offered me nine pygmy goats as a trade. I consider it a career-milestone to be offered actual livestock.

It got me thinking…what sort of animal would I be willing to trade for? A really nice saddle horse? A few quality milking goats? Pygmy marmosets? Of course there is the expense of keeping the animals, along with the expense of a place to keep them because I live in a large city. (The marmosets are delicate and don’t make good pets.) A “trade” that keeps digging a hole into my bank account isn’t worth it.

What would I trade for? Right now, I trade my time for cash. It’s always worked out for me. With cash, I can get anything I want if I have enough of it, and do stuff with it, like pay rent or set aside in savings. Dallas is not a barter-town so I doubt I’d get very far trying to trade pygmy goats at Neiman Marcus for a new handbag.

Posted on by Miss Brook$

singaporean “generosity”

This is one of my “I’m disgusted” posts.

Singapore has great wealth, though it’s not counted as the wealthiest Asian nation due to its small population. It has been at the top of the charts in various world indices, all pointing to a very positive and swift leap forward for this city-state of approx. 5 million people. All in all, it’s a pleasant and safe place to visit or live, even if you are an ang moh. It even outranks Japan on several factors, though Japan is still a leading Asian economy (China is huge and wealthy, however it still has large portions of its population in desperate poverty; nor does it provide for its citizens like Singapore and Japan do).

Singapore also admires Japan. Singaporeans love sushi and Japanese food (okay, Singaporeans love all food, so that might not count for much), they like to buy Japanese products and emulate Japanese trends. Japan is considered the pinnacle of Asian culture. Chinese culture provides tradition, Japanese culture is cool and trendy. (I’m going to ignore the obsession with Korean boy bands, just like I ignore boy bands in the States too.)

In Japan’s moment of need, Singapore turns its back. The government pledged $500,000SGD to the Red Cross. The makers of the Facebook game Farmville managed to raise twice that amount among its players worldwide. Contrast that with the amount Singaporeans spend at the two casinos: one local manged to lose $26 million SGD in three days, another local lost $100 million SGD in a short time. Granted, those two losses were well before the Japanese earthquake, but still — there is money in Singapore that could easily be given to help Japan. I’m betting the casinos are still flooded with locals who can’t wait to toss away hundreds of thousands of dollars every night.

One Singaporean woman donated a $1 million SGD check to the Japanese embassy in Singapore. Surely there are other Singaporeans who can do the same?

My Aussie flatmate tells me Resorts World (where the first local casino opened), is putting on a benefit show to raise money for the Red Cross. The ang mohs are volunteering their time and energy for the show. The locals (aka Singaporeans) want to be paid for doing their part (I believe the show will go on without them).

I’m sure that Singaporeans will claim that they’re too over-stressed about losing seats on the MRT to foreigners or worried about the rising cost of housing (due to foreign competition) to worry about the Japanese. This is their excuse for being rude too. It doesn’t fly.

What particularly irks me is that Singapore would be completely washed away in the event of a tsunami. Granted, it’s protected because of it’s location and this isn’t likely to happen. Apparently Singaporeans feel quite safe and don’t feel any empathy for the east coast of Japan because they must think they’re not going to suffer the same fate.

One of the world lists that Singapore ranked lowest on was generosity. Singapore is one of the stingiest Asian nations when it comes to donating to causes. It’s beaten out by countries like Sri Lanka and Thailand. Too bad Japan isn’t one big casino, I think that would be the only way Singaporean dollars would go to help the Japanese.