change is in the air

An article about Michelle Obama as First Lady reminds me of a lot of issues around sex work. The writer (Allison Samuels) points out that public perception of black women are limited to: sassy single mothers, crack whores or victims of AIDS by thoughtless partners. Samuels can’t find portrayals of the very normal black women she knows: college-educated, in stable relationships, non-sassy. Until Michelle.

And I have no doubt that reactions to this article will include cries that Michelle Obama is a “privileged” black woman and does not represent the a majority experience (of course she can’t represent everyone – she is only one person with one life).

Sounds like sex work to me.

The CNBC show has ruffled feathers for various reasons, one of which is the expected sighs over its portrayal of a small segment of the industry. While high-end escorts are indeed a small percentage of sex work, so are street-based workers – who are often used to make sweeping statements about all sex work. The truth is the silent majority of sex workers fall in the middle.

That’s what average is.

I have hopes the show will start a needed dialogue about the spectrum of sex work, as well as change some perceptions. Samuels hopes Michelle can help change perceptions of the modern black woman by starting a dialogue.

There is needed change in the air. I have optimism.

In dealing with some recent issues of my own, a wise friend told me that change — no matter how positive or needed — is difficult and painful. We may not always see the process of change as something good or something we want. We can only focus on the end result of the process.

If Michelle Obama helps the country realize black woman are not caricatures, that’s a step forward. If the show helps the public realize there is a broad range to sex work, that’s a step forward to a realistic view of sex work, opening the possibility to realistic solutions to problems that need to be fixed.

I hope.

my first anthology

So now I’m a professional blogger, I guess. My blog post about Kushiel’s Dart and how it affected my approach to my work was selected to appear in an anthology on prostitution. They paid me and everything. I have a copy of the book at home, though I haven’t cracked it yet (Gillette got an essay in there too).

I like this because it was pretty painless. All I have to do is blog for several more years and I’ll have a book! (That was a joke.)

UPDATE: Jacqueline Carey mentioned on her November homepage updates. I’m so flattered. I still probably won’t be able to speak should I get to attend another book-signing of hers.

notes from a free-range chicken

“Ingredients for Chicken Katsu” by LexnGer, is licensed under CC BY 2.0

I’m trying to assemble my thoughts and feelings into some kind neat package for reading. A fellow activist and sex worker had an even worse experience than I did. I was shocked to read her posts. Frankly, I was hoping I was an anomaly. You know, once an indie always an indie. Or that I’m just a little princess (ex-boyfriends might agree with that one).

Mariko’s horrifying account at least makes me feel I’m not crazy.

Still, I didn’t have problems with the people there. I was welcomed. The problems I ran into were more systematic problems. And I’m well aware I’m the sort of person for whom the walls close in fast. This doesn’t make me the ideal candidate for a lock-down brothel, but I thought I could handle this experience.

I do intend on trying another brothel. Kit Kat, Wild Horse/Mustang Ranch, and Sagebrush seem like candidates. I will be researching before I go. It will probably be the end of September or sometime in October. Probably not soon.

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the last day – day 10

As I said, I woke up Friday morning tired and in a very bad mood. I felt trapped. I was dying to just get out of the brothel.

That morning, as I pulled out of the parking lot of Bella’s Espresso House (where I had taken to eating breakfast), I glanced up the open, traffic-free highway 93. The open road – and it led to someone I knew and wanted to see.

It took all my willpower to turn left and back to the brothel instead of continuing on. But I did. And I planned.

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burning out – days 8 and 9

Wednesday was a very good day for me. I saw four men and all were very nice. I made good money and had fun (one bought the small Jacuzzi room, which was much more fun than I had thought it would be).

Just a great day all around. Smiling was involuntary.

thursday

I woke up tired due to all-night bell-ringing, slamming doors, talking, shouting, etc into the wee hours of the morning. I hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since I got here and I was waking up between 5:30 and 6:30am every morning whether I wanted to or not. It was beginning to show.

Then I had the brilliant idea of taking the day off and going to visit a nearby ghost town. I had my doctor’s visit (the local perv-doctor) then I was told I could go stay in a hotel! Sleep!

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