I’ve been remiss in my Advisor Amanda idea. This jumped out at me from the Advisor column. It hit me on so many levels. This is either a guy with some serious issues, or rather sensitive man pursuing love in the wrong way.
December 07’s Question
I work at a restaurant. Last week I slept with a co-worker. Earlier this week we were waiting around after our shifts and I asked her out for a drink. She said she was waiting for one of the kitchen guys to finish because they had made plans. When I got upset she said I had no right to act like a jealous boyfriend. Although I know we’re not a couple, I feel it’s disrespectful for her to spend time with somebody else we work with. How does the Advisor interpret the rules of dating here?
Advisor’s Answer: We’re sorry to disappoint, but the rules of dating apply only if the woman agrees you’re dating. She is free to work her way through the entire restaurant without consulting you.
My answer: Repeat after me: she owns her pussy. Keep saying it until it becomes your gospel.
Understand that a one-night stand does not mean she owes you anything — not respect for your feelings, not the obligation to do it again — nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero (this works both ways, ladies). The one night of meaningful screwing you had with her has not changed her life plans. And if it wasn’t all that great, it may’ve changed her views toward you in a negative way.
In all fairness, you might actually be the type of guy who will never sleep with anyone else at work besides her. (I’m betting not.) A valuable lesson I learned a long time ago: never have sex with anyone you work with. Life becomes much simpler if you don’t.
If she didn’t want to go out with you again after a one night stand it was because you were a bad lay.
Ha! Yes!
XX
You fucked her, right? And, she reciprocated (I think), right?
So what!!
I don’t mean to be rude (or ‘insensitive’) but GET OVER IT! Go fetch!!
I think men are behind the curve on this one. And steadily losing ground.
XX
Good Day EXpert, what entice you to post an article on sex with coworkers – After Hours| random discourse from a retired escort? This article was extremely interesting, especially since I was searching for thoughts on this subject last Tuesday.
Ha, ha. Great answer.
But if he had had sex with a sex worker, he never would have run into this problem.
Lee,
Exactly. But he’s also probably the kind of guy who thinks “I don’t have to pay for it.”
XX
Sadly, too many men are stupid when it comes to pussy. They immediately assume there was a connection, that she really liked it, and that somehow there is now a claim.
My Dad told me, more than 40 years ago, to get my head out of my ass and rather than assume you are the only one she is fucking, assume if she will fuck you, she will fuck anybody. This was back before birth control pills were common. Sex was also a bit less common, sadly, although oral and manual sex was chugging right along. (PS– Want a really good handjob, get it from a woman over 50.)
The reality is that too many men have really outdated “romantical” ideas about sex. Others treat all women as if there was something morally wrong with them. The reality is somewhere in the middle, just like it is with most men.
Times have changed. Slavery was outlawed in the US a LONG time ago. No one owns any part of anyone else.
Harold,
Beautifully said! You truly get it! Indeed, both sexes have similiar desires in their relations with others than society allows us to believe — it tends to get in the way and twist our natural desires to bad effect. Everyone would be so much happier with a little bit of self-honesty and disregarding what we’re taught about the opposite sex.
Love the tip about getting handjobs! You need to pass that along to other men. It’s a juicy one!
XX
I’m a serious guy and therefore used to take sex too seriously, so I can relate to what the guy is thinking. Some people are told to “save it” or to wait, etc. And yes, it’s stupid.
In the end, the only reason why people feel that way is because they’re not having enough sex. Once they do, they realize that it’s not such a big deal for either party or some blood pact.
“Paying for it” was part of the epiphany for me… The cash part is a clear signal that no unnecessary emotional baggage needs to be brought into the interaction.
Hobbyist,
Very true. Nothing makes one more cranky than not getting any. I said somewhere on this blog: the one who gets laid the most, wins!
XX