Posted on by Amanda Brooks

private activities that i enjoy

…but for which no money is exchanged

I’m sure many of you have seen this wording on advertising malls and personal websites of escorts. Continuing my recent satirical bent, here are some private activities that I enjoy for which no money is ever exchanged:

  • sleeping (my #1 enjoyable private activity)
  • eating
  • running
  • reading (especially in bed)
  • reading while eating
  • watching stupid YouTube videos
  • using my honey/sugar scrub in the shower
  • getting fresh toenail polish (though I do this a salon so it’s not private and I pay for this service)
  • watching mindless movies
  • napping
  • looking at my collection of Breyer horses
  • dreaming about the day when I finally have all my stuff out of storage
  • dreaming up blog posts that I never write
  • dreaming up books that I never write
  • flossing
  • dozing
  • counting and wrapping the coins in my coin jar
  • having a really good rant about someone/something deserving
  • bird-watching
  • adding to my to-do list and sometimes crossing something off
  • catching some Zs
  • admiring my hair after I leave the salon
  • dreaming about what I’d do if I won the lotto
  • endlessly checking my email but not actually answering any of them (then become guilt-racked)
  • surfing escort websites
  • slumbering

Oddly, none of these options are available for me to check off on advertising malls. I think I’ll just link to this post, just to be helpful to any potential clients. Apparently my private activities are something they’re intensely curious about for some reason.

Posted on by Amanda Brooks

gratitude and growth

This love letter to my readers was supposed to be written three months ago. My blogging is as timely as ever.

October 16, 2011 was a very special day for me. It marked five years since Book 1 came out. It’s never been a hot seller by mainstream publishing standards, but it has most certainly sold. It’s still selling at a steady rate and I do very little to publicize it (that’s changing as of this year). It inspired other people to write similar books or do similar things. I like to think it was a moment where people connected to the industry saw there was a need to take it seriously as a business and they could create business-related offerings without unnecessary justifications or the worry that there wasn’t a market.

Would I rewrite it? Oh yes. But I recently re-read it and it wasn’t quite as bad as I remembered it being. (This has nothing to do with what I think about its value to others, only what I — the author — thinks about my own writing from the perspective of self-criticism.)

A lot has happened to me in the last five years. A lot has happened to the economy in the last five years. Still, that book has helped male readers stand in an escort’s shoes and has helped many woman understand what escort work requires from them before they take their first client. That was the whole point of the book. I get feedback from readers almost every day. It’s always humbling, especially the positive ones (this doesn’t mean I’m a free-advice hotline, though I always want to help). You’re all very welcome.

Read more

Posted on by Amanda Brooks

escorts and sexual consent

Not sure why I received a spam email about this particular site, but I did. And when I read the site, I had to write a post. (As usual, this is a few months after the fact.)

sugarbaby advertising mall agency pimp or something

The site is incredibly confused about its purpose, but this may have a lot to do with the mentality of the person behind it. It claims to be a sugardaddy/independent escort advertising mall/escort agency site. Further reading clarified things as it really just seems to be a site run by a rather dumb pimp.

His stellar attitude, motivational skills and deep understanding of the business are displayed on the employment page (mind you, this isn’t an agency!) as he explains that having clients paying good money just to sit/talk/cuddle isn’t going to happen and that he has no problem telling his advertisers/employees they’re not worth the rate they want. If I were a pimp, I would ensure my girls made as much as possible. (This also reminds me of another advertising site I’ve discussed.)

Which makes me wonder just how good his pimping skills are. Either that, or he’s simply making an accurate observation about the quality of his clientele, in which case, why bother? Be an indie and not only charge what your little heart desires (without having to give him a free piece of anything), but meet clients who do need the therapy or extended-romance and are willing to pay for it.

He reverses this thinking shortly after by telling girls that they’ll have many types of dates with the clients/SDs off this site, including ones without sex. You mean, ones where the client just pays her to talk and cuddle with him? Really??? But I thought that didn’t happen because he said it didn’t. Wait, my little blonde escort brain is all confused now.

Read more

Posted on by Amanda Brooks

making escorts do…[whatever]

I need to get back to writing again, so I’m doing a couple posts about online escorts issues.

getting what you really want at a lower rate

I received advertising spam from a combination info-blog/advertising mall except they don’t seem to actually have any escorts signed up with them (they also seem geared toward agencies, not indies). I’m not sure why I got spammed, but the site was entertaining nonetheless. Their stated purpose is to teach clients “learn how to negotiate with escorts the right way to get what you really want. Don’t risk getting ripped off or going to jail.”

Escorts have an adverse reaction to the word negotiate. It’s a business. You pay what the businessperson is charging or seek to engage another businessperson. If you can’t afford Escort A, then there is probably the very-affordable Escort B advertising in Escort A’s city — all you have to do is reach out and email. Don’t haggle with Escort A because that won’t get you anywhere except possibly a complaint on a ladies’ board; just email Escort B and arrange a booking with the escort you can afford.

As for teaching male clients how to “get what they really want” I would highly suggest finding an escort whose personality turns you on, go in without heavy expectations and let the experienced professional do her job without getting in her way (she’s going to try to make you very happy). See her again and again and pretty soon you have exactly the experience you want — quite possibly surpassing your original expectations. (I touch on this subject a bit more here.)

Or…you could send an escort a detailed letter of every little thing you expect from her and every little thing you want her to do — and never see her. She may post this letter on a national ladies’ board for the laughs (or you could live in infamy online as a time-waster), which could mean you don’t see any escort in her city. Or you send copies of this letter to every escort in a single city, effectively screwing yourself out of seeing any escort in that city.

That’s how “getting what you really want” really works in really real life.

Read more

Posted on by Amanda Brooks

prodigal escort

Plans change. My last Asian trip is this week: Hong Kong to spend Dec 17 with Zi Teng. Then back to Singapore. Then back to Dallas in early 2011. I imagine I’ll stay put for a while, then get bored and light out again. I’ve missed Texas since 2004. The pull for home has become stronger this fall. So I’m taking the hint.

In the meantime, it means I’m re-entering the Dallas market. This has been interesting. I’ve always kept up with a few cities (mostly through Eros, also through a few discussion boards). Deciding on my rates hasn’t been too agonizing. Writing my ad text (and re-writing parts of my work-site) is. How the hell do I explain myself to someone who doesn’t know me? It’s different than advertising in other countries. Dallas is my home. The US market functions on some different ideas than the rest of the world.

Read more