In a roundabout way, I found out that this post over at Tits and Sass had mortally offended a client. No need to be offended, one can’t spend large amounts of close, personal time with another person without indulging in some (or all) of these activities. These things are what normal people normally do in relationships — only they aren’t compressed into a day or weekend or whatever.

It did get me thinking of more time-wasting activities for escorts who need a little mental/emotional alone-time during extended bookings (men: think of it as care and feeding for her soul, not as time away from you). So here are my suggestions.

outdoor activities

It helps if you already like the outdoors.

Fishing: Many men love it, it can last the entire day and staring in silence at the water or napping are considered part of it. For added quality time, slip the bait off your hook when no one’s looking. You don’t actually want to catch anything because then you have to do stuff with it.

Hiking: Ideal if you’re in great shape and he’s not. Push ahead and keep the pace rigorous enough so that he can’t talk, but not so hard that he passes out or has a heart attack. (While death would be the ultimate time-wasting activity, all the questions and stuff that goes along with it would probably spoil the entire appointment. Going to the hospital also counts as a prime time-wasting activity, but again, probably not how you envision spending your time. Though you can get major bonus points for holding his hand and sleeping in the uncomfortable visitor’s chair.)

Bird-watching (in a blind): This may require getting up extremely early or enduring a lot of heat in a small, enclosed space. However, silence is essential. It lasts for hours.

Horseback riding: He can’t talk when he’s not beside you. Horses don’t like loud noises so they won’t tolerate a yelled conversation either.

Swimming: Also works best if you’re a strong swimmer and he’s not. A wide-open space, like the ocean, is better than a small hotel pool. It helps you concentrate on your own swimming if lifeguards are on duty. Surfing would also qualify.

Running: The inspiration for this post (see below). Again, works best if you’re a stronger runner than him. Helps if one of you gets lost.

indoor activities

Not everyone wants to be outside.

Drinking/darts/pool/bar games: While this doesn’t give you alone-time, it does waste time in a most excellent and fun way. Plus, it’s even more fun if you always win!

Surfing the Internet with a dialup connection: He will eventually drift away in boredom while waiting for that YouTube video to load. You’ll get a few minutes of alone time.

Video games: Guys of all ages totally get into games. You’re connecting with him and spending time with him, but in a mindless way that requires very little out of you. Could last all day and all night if you get a truly competitive client (and your eyes can stay open). Bonus points if you routinely win. Try not to pick a game where you end up shooting him a lot — he might read more into that than is necessary.

Bikram yoga: Only if you’re experienced and he’s not. You will get the class to yourself, though you will likely have to listen to conversation about “how hot it was” for a while after.

Religious functions: This might be more than a little creepy to some but you get to enjoy a few hours of silence. Bonus points if you drag him to a house of worship that is sex-segregated.