Posted on by Amanda Brooks

escorts and sexual consent

Not sure why I received a spam email about this particular site, but I did. And when I read the site, I had to write a post. (As usual, this is a few months after the fact.)

sugarbaby advertising mall agency pimp or something

The site is incredibly confused about its purpose, but this may have a lot to do with the mentality of the person behind it. It claims to be a sugardaddy/independent escort advertising mall/escort agency site. Further reading clarified things as it really just seems to be a site run by a rather dumb pimp.

His stellar attitude, motivational skills and deep understanding of the business are displayed on the employment page (mind you, this isn’t an agency!) as he explains that having clients paying good money just to sit/talk/cuddle isn’t going to happen and that he has no problem telling his advertisers/employees they’re not worth the rate they want. If I were a pimp, I would ensure my girls made as much as possible. (This also reminds me of another advertising site I’ve discussed.)

Which makes me wonder just how good his pimping skills are. Either that, or he’s simply making an accurate observation about the quality of his clientele, in which case, why bother? Be an indie and not only charge what your little heart desires (without having to give him a free piece of anything), but meet clients who do need the therapy or extended-romance and are willing to pay for it.

He reverses this thinking shortly after by telling girls that they’ll have many types of dates with the clients/SDs off this site, including ones without sex. You mean, ones where the client just pays her to talk and cuddle with him? Really??? But I thought that didn’t happen because he said it didn’t. Wait, my little blonde escort brain is all confused now.

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Posted on by Amanda Brooks

a natural history of the prostitute

The Origin of the World by Gustave Courbet (he had the right idea)
The Origin of the World by Gustave Courbet

Prostitutes are born.

Not every sex worker in the world enters the work because she has always felt a pull towards it. Many have. I know a number of women who have felt the interest from a young age, including myself (and this was before I even had a clear idea of what sex was). Conversations with these women reveal that we all say the same things about our early interest, we all became interested right before entering puberty and common myths about prostitution were not enough to dissuade us from desiring that life-path.

This is a very small sampling and it’s highly unscientific. Given what we know about genes and hard-wired behaviors — it seems more than plausible. Just as homosexual people are born, I am convinced prostitutes are born too.

My inspiration came last year after reading a US-based survey about attitudes toward gay people. The discovery of “gay genes” seems to have really turned the tide in popular thinking and acceptance of homosexuality. It sounds like an argument of convenience for prostitution. But if the range of human sexual orientation is, in fact, genetic; then how come prostitution — an extremely common sexual behavior — supposedly isn’t? What if prostitution isn’t merely a sexual behavior but is actually a sexual orientation? Why has prostitution always been viewed as a deviant behavior? How come people aren’t willing to examine the idea that a prostitute is a perfectly natural occurrence and that it’s society which has formed the deviant behavior around the prostitute?

If being a prostitute is a natural tendency for a percentage of women, then how can laws be made against who they are?

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Posted on by Amanda Brooks

married clients

Something has slowly dawned on me since I’ve been out of the US. It seems a lot of married clients suffer the delusion that I’ve never encountered a married client before. Let’s get rid of these delusions immediately.

Married clients make up the majority of any sex worker’s business. If it weren’t for marriage, the entire industry would collapse in a week — worldwide. With the exception of small towns full of men and few women, married men make up 90% or more of my clientele. I’m a big, big fan of marriage. I think everyone should do it.

However…

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Posted on by Amanda Brooks

random escort musings

Specifically — other escorts. Not me. No, of course not me.

I wrote this several months ago, came across it again and decided to post it here. It’s me being curmudgeonly. I have less and less patience with certain aspects of my own industry. Familiarity breeding scorn? Possibly. Do I think perhaps the industry could move forward? Yes.

Ahem: I’m obviously writing this from the perspective of a female escort/male client relationship simply because it’s most typical and I’m most familiar with it.

I’m standing in front of the classroom, pointer in hand, frowning. Remedial detention is now in session. (Men can imagine me in my secretary/librarian look. Girls…probably aren’t interested in imagining me.)

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Posted on by Amanda Brooks

what are you really paying for?

[Probably opening a can of worms with this post, but it’s something I’ve wanted to say for a while.]

I’ve said it over and over again — escort work is about energy, creating a connection, entertainment and selling time, not sex. This is what I do for a living. Since I don’t work for a corporation, this is how I make my income. This is my job. It can involve sex, but not always. It always involves time, energy, conversation, and creating a connection. Always.

Many men have offered a friendly meeting for lunch or coffee. With rare exception — at my discretion, of course — I turn these offers down. Why? They aren’t offering to compensate me for my time and energy. It insults them that I wish to be paid for how I make my living. Yet what are they expecting? They expect me to show up well-groomed, well-dressed, to entertain and flatter, share my mind, my time, my energy. At the end of that time out of my day, I will be drained. They, on the other hand, will have gained. How is this a fair trade?

Some have tried to flatter me by telling me what great company I am. Yes, I know. That’s my job. That’s what I get paid to do. I make my income by selling my time and energy. Clients — who by definition pay me for my efforts — show respect for my time/energy by compensating me as I request. I always appreciate that.

My friend Holly Brooks* states is so well on her site:

While I always share a fond affection for my patrons, please do not ask me to meet you for any time without compensation, no matter how long we have known each other. This includes, “just a coffee” or “just lunch.” As a professional companion, people find me fascinating enough to invest in having my undivided attention for an allotted time– and what we do with that time or where we spend it has no bearing on how much the time costs. I get compensated for my time and company– that’s what I do for a living. Thank you for understanding and for not taking advantage of my time. 🙂

Exactly, Holly.

I offer a 1hr pick-my-brain session for both men and women over the age of 18. It’s compensated, of course, but it’s on the table for those who want to enjoy some personal time with me. And if you don’t think a conversation is personal attention, then these coffee/lunch offers wouldn’t be made in the first place.

Freud should’ve asked what men want

Men who want to spend time with a sex worker without sex (and without paying for her time), are an ironic contrast to men who take women out to dinner under the guise of dating and expect sex from her because they paid for dinner; even if it was very, very inexpensive.

*no relation