This might become an ongoing series as I remember stuff or things occur to me.

— I regret forgetting my walking shoes one recent weekend and having to wear heels more than I’d planned, which caused a foot sprain a couple days later when I returned home.

— I regret giving my real phone number to a Las Vegas strip club for the one or two nights I worked there in 2008. I still have that phone and have gotten text messages from them a few times a week. Since 2008. I wish they would purge their “inactive hires” list. Advice to anyone: treat strip club managers like customers and never give out your real phone number. Granted, I’m obviously a little slow on the uptake. Never had a problem with Dallas clubs texting me for the rest of my natural life, but that was years before. Damn technology.

— I regret not having professional photos taken of me during my stripper years. I had a great body. I also regret not being an international touring stripper. Would have been a blast.

— I regret letting relationships get in the way of my work; the reason I didn’t become an international touring stripper, the reason for my retirement in 2004, and the reason behind other decisions. Something I’ve learned in my 30s is to just say no to being squished by a relationship.

— I often regret being so damn “different” as an escort but that one’s not a full-on regret as there have been a lot of good things about being me. However, when I give advice to others, I always give it on the assumption that they do not want to make the mistakes I have.

— I regret my terrible, trashy taste in fiction. I read a lot of the classics when I was younger and I regret not reading more because my current love of brainless, non-redeeming fiction is embarrassing. (My taste in non-fiction is upright and not embarrassing.)

— I regret buying cute handsoaps with little plastic animals embedded in the soap because as the soap washes away, the hard pointy edges of the animals emerge and every washing is painful but it takes a lot of washing to be able to pull the animals out of the soap.

— I regret not speaking my mind when I really should.

— I regret my lack of time-management skills and how it’s gotten worse, not better, over the years.

— I don’t regret not getting a boob job.

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18 thoughts on “things i regret”

  1. This is brave to both to the introspective work to write this and post it.

    Facing our life’s regrets is a tough thing.

    You don’t lack for courage.

  2. Dear Ms. Brooks:
    I can really see why you regret giving your phone number to strip club managers. I am thinking when you made a permanent makeover of your life and professional aspirations you should have dumped the phone and changed the number. That would eliminate the unwanted contact that you would have from that element. The touring regret you have would be blamed on youth somewhat because you didn’t truly appreciate that this could be as lucrative or you had other reasons for not wanting to travel at that point in time in your life.

  3. Serra — Thank you!

    Lionel — I’m not even going to get into your second-guessing of my life decisions, especially why I choose to keep a particular phone number or not.

    The reason I didn’t become an international touring stripper was due to a relationship. Just as stated in the post.

    There has never been a point in my entire life when I haven’t wanted to travel, except for the past 2yrs.

  4. I think it is healthy to have a list of regrets. This means you have lived your life independently. Part of having freedom is making stupid decision. That said, I am kicking myself over several decisions made in the past that I still think about on occasion. I try not to let it weigh too heavily on my mind, though.

    But, hey, we’ve lived to tell about them!

  5. I regret not reading this sooner. As always, thank you for sharing yourself with us. May you have many more great memories than regrets in the years to come!

  6. About the boob job: I had to read that twice. Yes, your boobs are perfect just the way they are! I had mine firmed up and begged the surgeon not to put in an implant. Best decision ever, thank goodness! I have noticed a lot of bad facelifts on elderly women lately. Your comment on the boob job reminded me of when I saw an older woman with one, her face did not match her body and I didn’t know what to think.

  7. Claudia — Healthy…sure, it’s means I’m capable of owning mistakes. But some of them really make me disappointed in myself. As the cliche says, it’s almost always the things you DON’T do that gives regrets.

    David — Thanks! I do have more great memories than regrets, that’s for sure. This post is pretty short. 🙂

    Massuse — I’m pretty happy with my boobs and very glad I didn’t give into the pressure while stripping. This is in no way to condemn those women who chose surgery, only to reassure women who decided to forego surgery that they made the right decision for them.

    Okay…just what procedure did you do to get firmer boobs without implants???? I’m way behind on my boob techonology.

  10. The only thing I reget in my life is I let someone slip away. He was a keeper. I just saw him last year with his wife and 2 year old kid.

  11. I think my regret is not finding a way to get rid of “someone’s” sooner. My Dear John letters tend to always start Order of Protection

  15. I thought one of the reasons you became a escort was because you first worked as a stripper and you didn’t like stripping.

  16. Maria — Yes, after 4yrs of stripping I was pretty burned out. Would I have been as burned out as an international touring stripper? Hard to say, but guessing probably not as quickly. Or at the very least, it would have been fun.

    But, this is one of my regrets, just as written. Do I really have to justify it to you?

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