For once in my life I’m exceptionally free. I have my books, but that is a very portable business. So I can indulge my wanderlust like never before.
I’ll spend the next [insert time frame here] exploring sex work. Since I would probably be a target if I publicly did this in the US, most of my new experiences will be in other countries.
But there is one experience in the US available to me: Nevada brothels.
Yeah, it’s been a while. I’m still getting caught up with emails and life.
Obviously, my life has been in upheaval for the past couple months. I’ve been barely holding myself together since October and moving at the end of April pretty much capped it.
The relationship is over. That pain has been dealt with. The pain I’m still dealing with is what happened to me and how/why I let it happen. Though I can’t really speak publicly about it, I’ve been threatened with various actions if I reveal too much. This blog has been censored since Day 1 and is still being censored. It’s a concern, but not a vital one for me to address at this moment.
Which leads to my karmic debt. So many people, including a lot I’ve never met, have offered support and help in various ways. And it has helped. There is no magic wand to make things better, but being alone makes things much worse.
You’ve let me know I am not alone.
There isn’t enough I can possibly do to repay the kindness shown or the tolerance for my recent flakiness.
The more unfortunate side effect is that my personal energy is at an ebb and I have little energy to give to those who also need it. Several other friends have had crises too. But then, that’s what a support network is for. My small sisterhood of sex workers have been wonderful. There is so much love the outside world never sees and completely fails to understand.
One side effect from all the slanted attention lately could be disappointed readers and bad Amazon reviews.
Depending on where they heard of the book, if their hands aren’t burned when they touch it, will they be disappointed? Or if I don’t start out telling them how to be a whore and how much to charge and where to find good pimps, are they going to be disappointed? Will my serious discussion on STDs lack the bimbo quality they were hoping for? Will they not appreciate the dearth of “sex with clients†tips? Or my lack of discussing the good strolls in major cities? Are they going to be mad I don’t tell them which brand of stiletto is most comfortable for standing on concrete? Are they hoping to be brainwashed into selling their bodies for money and think the book sucks if they don’t decide to put an ad on CraigsList?
Just an idle thought…
There’s been a small blitz of media attention directed at me (I haven’t been updating stuff, though, I’m behind). And it’s not at all when I expected or asked for it. My relationship is over so I moved to regroup and finish Book #2. I figured on a fairly quiet existence for the next couple months. Instead, all of this hits the fan the very day that I moved (right after I unplugged my computer, apparently).
What’s amusing is a lot of people think I just published the book to capitalize on the Spitzer thing. They don’t do enough fact-checking to discover its public-release date was mid-October 2006. Less amusing is how they mangle my bio or misquote something they read about me on the Internet, written by someone else.
Last night on XBN, I discussed this with Jill (rambled, actually). These are some residual thoughts on my brief experiences with the media as a self-identified sex worker.
There was a radio show that I should’ve called in to. It featured two pimps discussing their business. I listened to the podcast until I got so mad I couldn’t listen any more. So the following is based on a small part of the show. Not my most informed moment, but then, I can’t say I really care if I somehow harm the perception of pimps with my ignorance.