clueless

Not the post I was writing for this week (I write very slowly), but just two short bits, one very funny, the other rather sad.

— One very special man wants to know how to book an escort and hotel room package. While I would love for this to actually be an option, it would be a can of worms even in legalized countries. (Except for those all-inclusive, buy-a-very-poor-girl-very-cheaply-for-the-entire-weekend tropical resorts.) Also, I’m not sure how well a hotel room/escort package would go over with the “mystery” bidding on hotel sites (like Priceline).

— In general, mainstream cluelessness, MSN posits there is actually a wrong way to show cleavage and gives us a photo gallery of examples. My issue with most of the photos they chose is that the women simply have natural breasts, naturally-presented. These are what real boobies look like; minus taping, makeup, special bras and/or implants (examples of implants and special effects are in the gallery as well). Apparently this simple fact of nature is lost on fashion/entertainment editors. What a sorry, sorry moment. The women with real breasts in this gallery have nothing to be ashamed of.

what are you really paying for? 4

The Simpsons have the answer for everything. In one brilliant line, Moe Szyslak answers the question above and solves the Gordian Knot of dating issues in the US.

Just watch episode The Blue and The Gray till 4:40. Or watch the whole episode, it’s fun!

(In case you can’t get the video going, Moe walks into a pickup artist/dating seminar and says: “Uh excuse me. Is this the seminar where you learn to pick up free escorts?”)

singaporean “generosity”

This is one of my “I’m disgusted” posts.

Singapore has great wealth, though it’s not counted as the wealthiest Asian nation due to its small population. It has been at the top of the charts in various world indices, all pointing to a very positive and swift leap forward for this city-state of approx. 5 million people. All in all, it’s a pleasant and safe place to visit or live, even if you are an ang moh. It even outranks Japan on several factors, though Japan is still a leading Asian economy (China is huge and wealthy, however it still has large portions of its population in desperate poverty; nor does it provide for its citizens like Singapore and Japan do).

Singapore also admires Japan. Singaporeans love sushi and Japanese food (okay, Singaporeans love all food, so that might not count for much), they like to buy Japanese products and emulate Japanese trends. Japan is considered the pinnacle of Asian culture. Chinese culture provides tradition, Japanese culture is cool and trendy. (I’m going to ignore the obsession with Korean boy bands, just like I ignore boy bands in the States too.)

In Japan’s moment of need, Singapore turns its back. The government pledged $500,000SGD to the Red Cross. The makers of the Facebook game Farmville managed to raise twice that amount among its players worldwide. Contrast that with the amount Singaporeans spend at the two casinos: one local manged to lose $26 million SGD in three days, another local lost $100 million SGD in a short time. Granted, those two losses were well before the Japanese earthquake, but still — there is money in Singapore that could easily be given to help Japan. I’m betting the casinos are still flooded with locals who can’t wait to toss away hundreds of thousands of dollars every night.

One Singaporean woman donated a $1 million SGD check to the Japanese embassy in Singapore. Surely there are other Singaporeans who can do the same?

My Aussie flatmate tells me Resorts World (where the first local casino opened), is putting on a benefit show to raise money for the Red Cross. The ang mohs are volunteering their time and energy for the show. The locals (aka Singaporeans) want to be paid for doing their part (I believe the show will go on without them).

I’m sure that Singaporeans will claim that they’re too over-stressed about losing seats on the MRT to foreigners or worried about the rising cost of housing (due to foreign competition) to worry about the Japanese. This is their excuse for being rude too. It doesn’t fly.

What particularly irks me is that Singapore would be completely washed away in the event of a tsunami. Granted, it’s protected because of it’s location and this isn’t likely to happen. Apparently Singaporeans feel quite safe and don’t feel any empathy for the east coast of Japan because they must think they’re not going to suffer the same fate.

One of the world lists that Singapore ranked lowest on was generosity. Singapore is one of the stingiest Asian nations when it comes to donating to causes. It’s beaten out by countries like Sri Lanka and Thailand. Too bad Japan isn’t one big casino, I think that would be the only way Singaporean dollars would go to help the Japanese.

exposure

The WikiLeaks thing has had my attention for a while. The rape charges against Julian Assange leading to an Interpol arrest-warrant? Really? I have two words for you: Roman Polanski. If it’s not a big deal that Roman drugged and raped a young girl, then Julian’s charges aren’t a big deal either. We all know what it’s really about: countries being embarrassed. I’m not sure why. So China is tired of propping up North Korea and no one likes Iran. These are state secrets? This is news? As for the gossiping that politicians do behind each other’s back, well, they obviously forgot that their mothers must’ve said, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t put it in a fucking telegram!” Or something to that effect.

Honestly, every country’s media has churned out for more insulting things about each other than these world leaders ever said in these leaks. I’m still waiting for a devastating state secret to be unearthed (spies being outed isn’t the same level of secret; also, I’d like everyone to recall Valerie Plame). Far as I can tell, it sounds a lot like high school with nuclear weapons. (Singapore’s response, invoking their Official Secrets Act, is hilarious.)

While I’m very sure that not everyone agrees with WikiLeaks fulfilling its mission of making leaked material available to all, I think it’s a great way of leveling the playing field. Here’s a chance for countries to get really, really clean with each other. This could be a great experiment in peace and cooperation. The world being what it is, it probably won’t, and things will just remain as they are.

I personally hope that Julian makes it to Venezuela and enjoys a nice vacation courtesy of Hugo Chavez, my favorite contrarian world leader. He’s not a supporter of sex worker rights. If he only had any idea of how much it would piss off the US, I’m sure he would turn his attitude around in a heartbeat. I’ve often wished I could convince him of this.

Which brings us to our own little WikiLeak in the online escort world: the exposing of Alex/a DiCarlo.

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pithy

Honesty in hotel advertising.

In the tired-trope* category, there’s the supposedly-damning accusation “Prostitutes are only in it for the money” and the frequent rebuttal “I’d rather be a prostitute than work at McDonald’s.” The Onion, as usual, has the correct answer.

*Not the singular of “tired trollops.”